Do NOT Mess With Me

Jason is doing some work in our backyard so he NEEDED to go to LOWES.  Going to Lowes with him is almost as bad as going to Best Buy (think TV shopping).  He drags me all over the bloomin store to show me "stuff" after declaring he needs to get one thing.  Every department always has something to inspire another home project.  So I usually end up hearing "I was thinking about getting some of these 2x4's and...."  that's about all I ever make out of his project descriptions for 2 reasons.  One, because when he starts giving me dimensions of wood and stuff I usually get confused and two, because he has so many projects going on in his mind that I'd rather not hear about anymore until the ones he started last summer are completed.

Today's visit was dedicated to getting a sprinkler to water all 5,000 square feet of our yard.  Before we left the house, he made sure to visit Lowes.com and browse the online sprinkler selection so he could be on his "A" game at the store.  So, here we go... "I could get this one, but..." or "I could get these two instead."  He is wanting my opinion.  But when we go shopping for me (clothes) and I ask him what he likes better he says "they both look good."  He is really no help.  So then he wants me to tell him which sprinkler I think will work better when really all I care about is that it will be QUIET when the timer kicks on at 6:30am.  I cannot stand listening to chh chh chh chh chh chhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh for 30 minutes outside the bedroom window.  Anyway, I digress.

This trip to Lowes wasn't so bad (with the exception of the parking lot ordeal), and I actually needed something there myself.  Since our kitchen and living room seem to be invaded by Rollie Pollies I was set out to get this bug spray that I saw a commercial for on TV.  We got the bug spray and headed to sprinkler isle.  Oh Goody.  The decision making process did not last as long as I was anticipating, so I agreed to some browsing of the plants and flowers.  We made our selections, paid, and were on our way.

Now let me tell you what happened in the parking lot.  I was waiting on this BMW to pull out of a parking spot and get out of my way so I could swing out wide enough to get in the spot they were in.  There was an empty spot next to where I parked, and naturally the car behind me would insist on parking right next to me.  So, I was in the driver seat and to my left were those white diagonal lines and Jason had the car parked next to him on the right.  Since we have to get Elise out and open the back doors Jason decided to wait on the driver of the car to get out and on his way.  I'm watching the guy get out, he opens his door and keep pushing it open and "THUNK" he freaking bangs his door into my truck.  He got out and just started walking into Lowes.  Uhhh I don't think so, pal!  I roll down Jason's window and yell "HEY!"  He backs up to the window and I said "You just hit my truck with your door!!"  He shrugged his shoulders and mumbled "sorry."  So, now Jason is getting out of the truck to see if there's a mark and he's telling the guy "You need to be more careful!!!" The guy repeats himself.  Then I'm yelling through the window "Well, you had PLENTY of room!!!"  So he says sorry again and goes on his way.  I put the truck in reverse and park half-way in the diagonal white lines while telling Jason "I hope he comes out here to see this, that I had to move over because of him.  Like we weren't going to realize he banged his door into my truck while we were sitting in it! Humph!"  Jason said "looks like he does that a lot by the looks of his door."  We get everything out of the truck and start walking into Lowes.  Well, here he comes on his way out.  He sees me and says "I'm sorry again, mam.  Did you look to see if there was a mark?"  I said "it's fine" and kept on walking.  I mean really?!  I don't know what some people are thinking!  I guess I should be glad he wasn't a member of The Bloods and whip out a machete or AK-47 or something.  But, then again he should be glad I didn't either since I'm PMSing.