A Lesson About Marriage

I read somewhere:

"As soon as you realize that everything in your life changes after having a baby, and nothing in his life does, the better off your marriage."

It's unfortunate that statement is so true.  Of course my husband adores his daughter, but he has not had to make any adjustments to his daily life.  He still comes and goes in and out of the house just like he did before, still plans and volunteers to go on out of town trips, and doesn't think twice about any of it.  If I am going to get my hair cut, plan something with friends, or go somewhere, I have to think about:  Can Elise come?  Will this be feasible to do with a baby in tow?  Will that time interfere with her nap or feeding time?  I guess it's safe to say that I feel somewhat jealous that I don't get waltz in and out the door without any regard to anyone else like I used to.  But I also think that I wouldn't feel that way if I could get my husband to understand and have some compassion for the fact that EVERYTHING I do revolves around Elise.  I feel very certain that even if I had a full time job, working 40 hours a week I would pick her up from daycare, come home to an empty house quite often, prepare a meal, do laundry, etc. while Jason is coming and going, doing whatever it is he would like to when he would like to do it.  He does not want anything interfering with his schedule, and his schedule is so erratic working at the fire department.  Some days he is gone all day and all night.  Like last night, I didn't hear from him until 7:30pm when he called to tell me he was on a structure fire.  He eventually came home at 10:30pm, but he was out until 1:30am the night before.  Lucky for him, he knows that I am here, do not have a job to be accountable to, and Elise will always be taken care of no matter what the time of day is.  I know many would say "quit your complaining because you get to stay at home with your baby."  Well, if I wasn't a stay at home mom the situation would still be the same.  It can be very tiring to be alone with a baby all day and all night with the only breaks coming when Elise is napping.  It would be even more exhausting working all day, taking care of Elise all night, and Jason is VOLUNTEERING (that means not getting paid and not being forced) to spend more and more time outside of the house.  He keeps thinking that he wants another baby in the future, but there's no way I can handle 2 without having someone home more often.  It would be nice to feel like I'm not being taken for granted and that my time is important to me just like his time is important to him.  I'll start talking in circles if I keep up my rambling.  Before I end though, I want to make it very clear that I appreciate the opportunity to stay home with my daughter and wouldn't trade it for anything, but I also need someone on my team to understand that just because I don't have a job to report to doesn't mean it's my responsibility to put all my plans on the back burner while Jason is living the carefree live he had before.  The End.

Our Nightly Routine

 

Little Diva

 

"Oh, Momma!  I'm not high maintenance, I'm just expensive!"

 

Sometimes I like to play with my feet.

 

 

But what I'd really prefer is...

 

 

 

 

is to pull all my diapers out and play with them!

6 Months

Elise,

How can it be that you are half a year old?  I was just looking at your pictures from the day you were born.

Wow!  How much you have changed, and how much you have changed the dynamic of our little family.  We have all come so far in such a short amount of time.  Everyone compliments me on what a good baby you are.  You have developed quite the personality and are already learning how to test me.  There are moments when I think to myself, "How in the world can you possibly scream any louder or longer?"  But you do, and the moment I pick you up, you are all better.  If you are already throwing tantrums I hate to imagine you as a 2 year old.  With the way time has flown by, it seems like it's only mere moments away that you'll be walking, having your 1st birthday party, then getting ready to go to school, and then going on your first date.  I still take in those moments when you rub your little head into my shoulders and grab my shirt, and as much as you love your daddy and shreek with excitement to see him, you still look to me when you are inconsolable.  It has been so exciting to see you learn new things each day, and you are such a smart little girl!  I know the next few months are going to become very exciting for us as you become mobile and I start baby proofing the house!  I will be on my toes more than ever before keeping up with you, I'm sure.
Happy half year birthday, my little baby!

Independent Sitter...

 

Elise is just now starting to try to sit up by herself.  Sometimes she gets frustrated because her desires outweigh her abilities.

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

Elise has been rolling over for a while now, but she just won't let me catch it on video.  She went right over tonight, but I'm not really sure if it was intentional or accidental since she was trying to grab the leave out of the giraffe's mouth.

Elise Might Actually Like This...

nope, not bananas.  We had round 2 with the bananas today and it was pretty much the same reaction as last night.  But, she is starting to think her jumper might be a little more fun than she used to.

Bananas vs. Elise

Round 1 Winner:  Elise.

Elise was NOT impressed with bananas last night.  So disappointing.  She gave me the funniest faces and at one point she coughed and spit bananas out of her mouth onto the tray of her walker.  I think we'll try again at lunch today, in case her reaction was because she was tired or just didn't feel fell from all the trauma yesterday.

6 Month Check-Up

Elise had an appointment today for her check up and another round of shots.  While we were sitting in the waiting room, a dad was in there with his little girl who was about 5 or so.  They were playing with a mermaid doll and a pony.  The dad was playing the roll of the mermaid.  Then the little girl said "wanna play a game with me?"  He responded "sure."  Then she said "Let's play Who's Miserable."  I had to look away so he wouldn't see me laughing....  Ohh what I have to look forward to. 

Elise's pediatrician was out of town so we saw the fill in.  Elise weighs 15 lbs. 5 oz. and is 25 1/2 in. long.  She is still tracking nicely in the 50th percentiles for weight, height, and head circumference.  The doctor checked her ears, nose, mouth, hips, reflexes, eyes, etc and said she looks great and answered all my questions.  She got an oral vaccine and 3 injections.  I was so proud of her!  She took the shots like a champ.  Of course she cried (Momma didn't this time), but I picked her up and she calmed down.  Then she gave the nurse one of these...

Because I have a genetic B12 deficiency the doctor wanted me to have Elise's blood drawn to check her for it.  We went to the hospital lab to have her blood checked for a CBC, B12 deficiency, and a reticulocyte count (Google it).  It's related to anemia.  Elise did really well considering the circumstances.  We were called back by a guy who looked like he was 13 and hadn't reached puberty yet... so I was a little skeptical about his experience.  He put the tourniquet on each of her arms, and the left arm twice to try to find a vein while I held her.  He thought he had found one so he had me lay her down on the table and stuck her.  And missed.  She screamed and turned beet red.  He pulled the needle out and said he'd have to get someone else and left.  I was holding Elise to calm her down and wiping up the blood running down her little arm.  A lady came in and looked for a vein on her opposite arm.  She found it and let me hold Elise this time while she stuck her.  Of course Elise screamed and cried, but she was still enough to let her get some blood before her vein started to blow (you could see it starting to).  They ran the blood to the tech to make sure it wasn't clotted or clumpy.  It was fine and we should have the results tomorrow.  Now my baby looks like she's been through a war zone.

She got a shot of grape Tylenol and is napping in her swing, now.  Hopefully she'll feel up to trying some new food tonight!  Maybe bananas or apples!

Almost Amish?

I made some of Elise's baby food today.  I kind of feel like I'm Amish ... like the jars of baby food are too processed or something.  At least I haven't gone all organic or vegan.  Today I made avocados, pears, applesauce, and bananas.  I still have sweet potatoes and butternut squash to make, but we won't be introducing all of the foods to her at once so I have some time to get those made.

 

Avocado

 

Pears on top, Bananas on bottom

 

Apple/Pear Juice

 

Applesauce

Some of my recipes call for "real" apple juice and I might need some to thin the foods when I serve them so I saved the juice from cooking the apples and pears.  We'll see tomorrow what Elise thinks.  I'm not sure which one we'll start with, but I'm sure there will be photos to come.

Laughing With Daddy

Thought We Were In For A Long Night

After Elise's usual bedtime routine, she was in her Pack & Play for bed at 9pm.  A little before 10pm Jason was called out.  I was hanging out in the living room for awhile and shortly after 10pm decided to get ready for bed.  I walked into the bathroom and heard Elise coughing, so I went to check on her.  My poor baby had spit up EVERYWHERE.  All over the sheet, the seahorse, her clothes, her face, her ears, and she was laying in a huge puddle of it.  I stripped her down and put her back in her bathtub for another bath and called Jason to see what his status was.  I was getting her dressed when he came home.  Just as he walked in the door she started coughing again, so I set up her and the puking commenced.  After she was done and dressed I carried her into our room.  Jason and I were gonna get ready for bed and started it again.  I held her over the sink and the poor baby puked some more.  She was really pale.  She threw up two more times after that.  I was so worried about her, I just sat in bed holding her up with a rag to her face and cried with her.  By this time it was 11pm.  We decided to wait 30 minutes and see how she was, and if she wasn't better we would call the doctor.  She finally fell asleep in between us and didn't wake up until 4:45am.  I fed her and she went right back to sleep until 9am this morning.  I don't know if something didn't settle well with her stomach or if she ate too much, but the threw up everything she had in her and stomach bile.  So far she seems to be doing ok today.

I'll Go Back to Work When...

1.  Flu season's over
2.  Elise is 6 months old
3.  Elise is a year old
4.  I'm not breastfeeding anymore
5.  Elise can talk
6.  Elise is potty trained
7.  Elise starts school


I was only planning on staying home until Elise was 6 months old, mostly because I figured we wouldn't be able to survive financially any longer than that.  Now, I really really hope I can breastfeed until she's a year old.  We have been doing so good with it and it's so good for her... and free.  She hasn't really been sick, just a chest cold in the winter.  So, hopefully we can keep this up for a little while longer.  Six months goes by SO fast!

About To Upgrade To The Highchair

The bouncer had to be discontinued for feeding purposes because she was getting oatmeal and cereal EVERYWHERE.  So, we moved on to the Bumbo.  That worked for a while, but now she tries to escape from it and that makes feeding her in it a bit challenging.  Now we are just setting her in our laps.  That gets to be a little messy too, but at least I don't have to worry about her grabbing the centerpieces off the table (anymore) and turning around in her Bumbo to grab the BOWL of oatmeal!

And Would You Believe?

That after a night like last night we are BOTH up, dressed, and SMILING by 9:00am!

The Madness Known As My Life

Some days I have to ask myself: "Does God hate me?"  I mean REALLY!  Things just do not go my way, and it's not just one thing... everything!  Let me tell you about yesterday when I lost my mind and why I probably won't ever find it again.

Everything seemed fine and well until Jason came home from work.  This was the conversation that was exchanged between us:

He says "I think I'm gonna mow the yards real fast."

"Ok, while you're doing that, Elise and I are gonna run up to Target to get a couple things."  (Target is not just a "run" away.  It's at least 20 minutes from my house)

Elise and I are almost there when OF COURSE it starts raining, so we are now going to have to choose which one of those scenarios to implicate that I described to you the other day.  I spent almost 5 minutes backing out and re pulling in to the closest parking spot to the front door.  Put it in park, turn around to the back seat and look around.  No diaper bag, which means no wallet.

"Well, Elise that was a fun trip!  Time to go home now."  Target trip, FAIL!

At least we avoided any obstacles in the parking lot.  On my way back into town, there was a wreck and the interstate was blocked off.  Considering that I didn't see any fire trucks there, I assumed Jason was mowing the yard since I couldn't reach him on his cell.  I pull into the driveway... no Jason.  So I called up to the fire station since it was now starting to rain at our house, both the dogs were in the back yard with muddy feet, and I couldn't manage them and the baby.  He tells me he's on his way home and this:

He said "wow, that was a quick trip to Target."

"Yeah, to actually buy something, I would actually have to have my wallet!"

While I'm trying to pick up the kitchen he's cleaning the dogs' feet in the rain - via the "Paw Dunking Method" as seen below.

 

As he's doing this, he tells me he needs to get my truck in the garage because it could hail, so I told him I'd go ahead and do it.  He said all the trash needed to be taken out first.  I am then running across the street, hands full of trash bags and boxes in the rain to the dumpster.  Followed by the dog, in the muddy alley.  Perfect!  The truck gets pulled in and just when I think we can finally get some dinner and watch American Idol, the emergency alert message comes on the TV.  We're under a tornado warning.  The news pops up with the radar saying a tornado has already been spotted on the ground with a big blue arrow pointed right for us.

Weather man, Jason informs me that we need to load up Elise and get to the fire station before it gets here.  Now, let me pause here and say that in the past, when instances like this have occurred, he leaves to go "storm spotting" and gives me the "I'll give you a call if there's anything coming."  I guess he felt inclined to get the whole family up there now that we have Elise.

I then spent the next two hours sitting at the fire station listening to the rain, hail, TV, pagers, radios, and the radio traffic of at least 2 departments with a baby, who then became hungry.  I left to come home before Jason while Elise screamed the whole way.  When I walked in the front door I had to strip my pants off because they were soaked and plop down on the couch and feed my unhappy child.  I finally got to eat some leftovers at 10:15pm, went to sleep at 11:30pm, fed Elise again at 3:45am, and was up by 7:50am.

I thought I was pretty deserving of a nap today, but that was a FAIL, too!  By the time I fell asleep, Elise woke up.  When she fell back asleep, the dog was up on the bed bothering us, then the phone was ringing, then Elise was hungry... so no nap for Momma.  If I get any sleep tonight it will be a miracle... considering we are already under a tornado watch and my husband is already at the fire station.

The Most Annoying Sound In The World

is SNORING.

When Elise wakes up between 3 and 5am for her middle of the night feeding.  I sit up, lay her on a pillow and nurse her with my head in my hands and my eyes barely cracked open because I am SO. TIRED.  I haven't slept all night in about a year, ya know?  While I'm doing this, I am listening to the incessant, obnoxious sound of my husband gasping for air.  How he sleeps through that still remains a mystery to me.  Since I think this is quite possibly the most annoying sound on this planet I occasionally "poke" him with my toe.  He says I'm "cattle prodding" him, but that's not true.  I try to be very sympathetic to the fact that he has to get up and go to work in the morning so unless the snoring is incredibly unbearable, I'll just give him a look of disgust while he's sawing logs and I'm.... not.  He can't see it anyway.

What makes the snoring worse?  Is when I have to get up in the morning and he doesn't.  So, I'm sitting in the bed, feeding our child, wishing I could be sleeping as good as him, and getting mad at the clock because I have to wake up in 4 hours.  If I have to be awake he does too!  He was sleeping peacefully...and snoring when I tapped him on the shoulder.  He woke up, looked at me, and mumbled "huh?"  I said "oh, nevermind."

Momma Knows Best

I have often wondered what people think when they see me out with long sleeves and pants on, and my child is in her car seat in a onesie with no socks on and blanket over her.  I almost always put a blanket over her because I don't want those old bittys giving me the eye about my baby not being clothed head to toe.  The truth of the matter is, Elise is just like her Daddy... hot natured.  She gets even hotter strapped down in that car seat without any air.  She HATES having anything on her feet and kicks off whatever I put on them.  Too many times have I picked her up and she's sweaty from being in her car seat.  So, from then on I keep her clothes to a minimum and can always add a blanket if I need to.  When it was snowing and cold outside, she very rarely wore a coat or heavy clothes.  She had on long sleeves, pants, and a hat.  But she was only going from the house to the truck (which was always warmed up) so she wasn't outside in the cold much.  I just hope other people bare in mind that just because they are cold doesn't mean my baby who's confined to her car seat is too.  It makes her really mad to be hot and it aggravates me to pick her up and her hands, feet, or back are all sweaty.

Maybe A Minivan Isn't Such A Bad Idea

Ha! Shoot me if I ever mumble those words again because my next MOMobile will be an SUV of some sorts.  I have some kind of status to uphold you know?  But after the nightmare I have had with a baby in a carseat, a 60 lb. diaper bag, manuvering in and out of a truck with a third door in the pouring rain, the van's looking pretty good right about now.


Scenario 1:  Wal-Mart parking lot.  I have 2 options:  Park 2 miles away to make opening the third door easier and avoid hitting the adjacent car with the carseat and "run" (if that's actually possible to do while carrying all that crap) in the rain to the door or park closer to the door, stand in the rain with the driver's door open and rain pouring all over the inside of the truck and myself while I get the carseat out and move both doors back and forth 5 times to ease out between them and the car next to me and hope no one is sitting in it when I bang the carseat and/or diaper bag into it during the fury.

Scenario 2:  Raining, again.  Eye doctor appointment.  Only option:  Park next to the Mustang with the driver still sitting in it watching me and laughing while I repeat what has happened above.  I don't have the option of parking far away.  So, sorry Mustang driver for accidentally banging my child's carseat into the side of your door (that's what you get for laughing, jackhole).  And sorry Elise that you have to get soaking wet.  If you could babysit yourself you could stay at home and be dry.  Everyone loses.

I'm From 'Da Hood

"Somebody's Hero"

She's never pulled anyone from a burning building
She's never rocked Central Park to a half a million fans, screaming out her name
She's never hit a shot to win the game
She's never left her footprints on the moon
She's never made a solo hot air balloon ride, around the world,
No, she's just your everyday average girl (but)

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her baby with a skinned up knee
A little kiss is all she needs
The keeper of the cheerios
The voice that brings Snow White to life
Bedtime stories every night
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero

She didn't get a check every week like a nine-to fiver
But she's been a waiter, and a cook and a taxi driver
For twenty years, there at home, until the day her girl was grown
Giving all her love to her was her life's ambition
But now her baby's movin' on, and she'll soon be missin' her
But not today, those are tears of joy runnin' down her face

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her daughter in her wedding dress
She gave her wings to leave the nest
It hurts to let her baby go down the aisle she walks right by
Looks back into her mother's eyes
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero

Thirty years have flown right past
Her daughters' starin' at all the photographs
Of her mother, and she wishes she could be like that
Oh, but she already is

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her mother in a rockin' chair
She runs a brush through her silver hair
The envy of the nursing home
She drops by every afternoon
Feeds her mama with a spoon
And that smile lets her know
Her mother's smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero

Like Mother, Like Daughter?

A long, long time ago I could pull this little maneuver, and my Meme would say "A bird's gonna come and land on that lip!"  Well, Elise whips this little look out when she doesn't want someone to hold or look at her.  It's actually really hilarious to see her do it to her Grandpa.  He can walk up to her and try to talk to her and there goes the lip.  As soon as he turns back around the lip goes back in, and then without fail he'll try again and she'll stick it out at him again.  She certainly isn't shy about expressing her feelings of dislike.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day.  My First Mother's Day.  While it's sentimental that I am finally able to celebrate this day (legally) since until October 26, 2009 I was only a mommy to my furbabies, I also think that I deserve to do something for ME.  So, for those of you that are avid readers of my blog and also communicate with my husband, you have exactly 22 days, 18 hours, and 41 minutes to drop these hints to him since he doesn't read my blog.  A few ideas of what I would enjoy:  A pedicure, a massage (and not a card written inside it saying "Go get a massage"), a date, or any combination of the three.  Ready. Set. Go!

Why I'm Not Reproducing Again

Because I weigh 5 pounds less than I did before I got pregnant.  And I'm almost positive that this will never. happen. again.  I can wear clothes that I haven't worn in ages, and I'm only 10 pounds away from weighing what I weighed when I started college.  The older you have babies, the harder it is to get your body back, and Trophy Wives aren't frumpy and fat, so that just won't suit at all.

The Reason Our Bed NEVER Gets Made

If  we aren't sleeping in it, the princess is.  If I actually made our bed, I don't know where she would take her daily naps!  Surely not in her Pack N Play that's located right beside our bed!

The Shirt Says It All

 

What's the max on this bad boy?

 

This doesn't have MY name on it!

 

Plastic Goes With EVERYTHING!

Jason doesn't like to see his girl (that would be Elise, now) unhappy.  So, this is how she and I conspire against him.  How could he say no to this little sweetie?  I don't know what I'm going to do when she outgrows this.  Maybe if I cut the sleeves and the bottom off it will last long enough until she starts talking.

Out With The Old, In With The New

Yesterday I was taking a little gander at the Victoria's Secret website.  I am in desperate need of a strapless bra for the summer.  I have been using those little chicken cutlets from Wal-Mart that stick on your boobs, but have run into a few problems with them.  First and foremost, they were purchased when my boobs were their normal size.  That was prior to having a baby and breastfeeding.  So consequently, they no longer cover as much surface area as they previously have.  And, can we say absolutely NO SUPPORT?  Secondly, I discovered it's not exactly ideal to wear them while continuing to breastfeed.  It's too much work to pull them off and re-stick them.  Then if there's any milk leakage, that can cause some problems and irritation.  Thirdly, they are pretty old, so the adhesive is starting to come off.  Combine that with breastfeeding and Elise has adhesive stuck on her face and they are sliding off my boobies.  So, I gave up on those and tossed them in the trash. 

I was perusing the VS site looking at the bras, found a strapless one that looks promising (actually it's convertible so that would be even better), but then noticed... what?!  They sell nursing bras too?!  OMG!  Who would have thought I'd be so excited to learn that?  I currently have NO nursing bras, so I just make the best of what I have to work with.  Which happens to be ONE, that's right ya'll UNO bra that is the correct size that Lori bought me for Christmas.  I tell Jason "Oh my gawd! Look!  They have nursing bras at VS!"  His response: "well, duh, VS has everything.  Does it have a picture of what it looks like un-snapped?"  Insert eye roll here.  He really is no help at all.  I doubt I'll be purchasing one of the nursing bras, but oh how the times have changed.  Instead of looking at all the cute PJ's and panties, I almost peed my pants over a nursing bra. 

It was Jason that asked me the other day if I had a strapless bra to wear with one my tank tops.  I told him no, considering the fact I only have one bra that fits me AT ALL.  I have $20 off at VS, so my hubby was generous enough to agree to letting me buy myself a strapless one.  If I can get the convertible one, it will be like having TWO bras to wear.  Holy cow!  Two bras, that are the right size!  That means that I could actually have one to wear while the other one is being washed!

Aftershocks! From The Poop Diaries

Elise and I went to visit our friend Meghan today.  We were hanging out and chatting in her living room when out of nowhere we heard it.  A sound that I am quite familiar with, one however, that left Meghan speechless.  The sound of another poosplosion.  Elise took the loudest, hugest poop she could muster while sitting contently in her car seat.  My immediate reaction was to first laugh and then quickly jump up and make sure the disaster was contained in the diaper and not all over Elise, her clothes, or her car seat because that's been her MO lately.  Luckily we were in the clear.  Meghan does not spend much time with babies and was horrified to say the least.  I waited a few minutes to change her in case she wasn't done, because any accidents during a diaper change might make our dear friend puke.  She even said she might have to leave the room, while I was changing her.  Meghan referred to those post-poop moments as "aftershocks."  I guess the car seat vibrated a little bit like an earthquake.  Yes, folks.  It was that intense.

I laid the changing pad down on the floor and got to work on getting Elise cleaned up.  I went through wipe after wipe after wipe, all the while hearing "nope, never having one of those" from behind me.  I got Elise cleaned up, the dirty diaper wrapped up, and looked at Meghan.  All I saw was her eyes peering over the top of a pillow she had pulled up to her face.  I guess that counts her out on babysitting.

The Best Part Of Waking Up...

Is realizing that for once, it's not still dark outside.  Oh.Em.Gee!  I feel like a new woman!  I think I could run around the block after the sleep I got last night.  Once Elise finally settled down last night and drifted off to sleep,  I snuggled up with my hubby and was OUT!  She woke up to eat around 4:30am then went right back down.  She woke up around 7:45 this morning while Jason was getting ready for work.  Before he left he was kind enough to change to her diaper (something I usually either do myself or very politely ask him to do) and then put her in bed with me.  I nursed her and then we both fell back asleep.  I woke up and peeked at the clock.  It was 11:00am!  Holy cow!  I got up, but Elise didn't get up until 11:30am.  She must have been worn out after exerting ALL of her energy on making sure my eyelids didn't close longer than she wanted them too.

Daddy Fed Me Tonight

Jason fed Elise tonight and I think he enjoyed it more than she did.  He had waaaay more fun than I thought he would!  Last night she went to bed at 10:30pm and didn't wake up to eat until 5:15 this morning, so we'll see how she does again tonight.

Momma Needs A Break, Too

Jason has been gone from 2:30pm until 1am every night this week.  With Elise being so fussy, an extra hand is always appreciated, but it's just been me and her.  I feed her, bathe her, play with her, hold her, soothe her, etc. and once she finally goes to bed all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch all my shows I have DVR'd.  I should be unloading the dishwasher, making myself something to eat, folding clothes, starting more laundry, playing with my dogs that never get attention anymore, or even.... shredding, but finally it's time to myself.

When he's home in the evenings, I can at least get him to hold her while I do stuff around the house or help me with dinner or cleaning up.  But I'm still on the clock after all that with bath time, lotion, jammies, feeding, and getting ready for bed.  Thank God I don't have a job outside the home, because I don't know how I would manage doing all that and still have my house standing.

I would do anything to be able to have an afternoon or evening just for myself.  Especially after a particular hard week like this week.  I think it should be required, actually.  Without having any time to myself, my nerves are shot.  I need to recharge myself. 

They say being at stay at home mom is the hardest job.  It is giving all of yourself to your child.  There isn't anyone around to tell you that you're doing a good job or keep up the hard work.  But also, you can't really say it's a "job."  You can quit a job, you can clock out or take the day off.  You can never quit being a mom or take time off.  It's a lifetime responsibility, but sometimes during all the chaos and commotion of everyday life, mom's deserve to take time for themselves.  To take the time to remember the person they were before they threw every once of their being into motherhood.

Some Random Photos

Sleeping Beauty Doesn't Live Here

This time last year was the last time I slept peacefully, all night, without interruption (with the exception of my husband's pager).  I was in the beginning of my pregnancy and hadn't reached the uncomfortable stage or the constant peeing yet.  Fast forward to today.  Now, I am awakened multiple times a night by crying, fussing, cooing, and you name it.  For some reason, my baby refuses to sleep at night.  This morning was the first morning my eyes were swollen from lack of rest.  I didn't even look this bad when Elise was a newborn.  Or, maybe I did and I was just too exhausted to notice and nobody bothered to tell me... or it was just expected.  At 2:30 this morning she was up screaming.  I know all she wants to do is nurse, but she wakes up expecting it.  She will never sleep through the night if she's starting to form this habit.  She woke up a couple more times and then up at 8am.  I fed her and laid her back down in the bed with me (which is where she slept from 2:30am on because Jason went to sleep on the couch).  She fussed after I fed her for I don't know how long, but then finally went back to sleep.  We slept until 11 and then I got up.  I actually had to wake her up a little before noon.  So, I've decided to make some changes to her bedtime routine to see if that helps, and I am trying a little rice cereal tonight.  It's not supposed to make them fuller longer, but at this point, I'll give anything a shot!

Out Of Desperation

I decided to try to give Elise some rice cereal tonight in hopes it would help her rest better.  She has had nothing but breast milk until tonight.  I managed to get some of the action on video, since her daddy is gone tonight.  I knew he'd want to see her reaction to her first attempt at it.  She was screaming her head off in the beginning because she wanted to eat RIGHT NOW and was not interested in waiting for me to make it!  It was a little challenging getting her to eat it at first because she was so upset, but she eventually got the hang of it and seemed to like it.  She had a mess all over and because she was in such hurry to eat there was no time for bibs.  I laughed my butt off when I watched the video and I'm sure you will too!

Just Because...

She's so cute.  I have been trying to get her rolling over on video, but as soon as she sees the camera I think she says to herself "you aren't gonna see it, sucker!  And I hope your batteries DIE!"  But nevertheless, I had this video of her doing nothing special but decided to post it anyway. 

Before You Call CPS...

She is breathing.  I checked in on her a few times during her nap.  Each time she has her blanket pulled all over the place and over her head.  She does it pretty often.  It used to make me nervous, but she moves around so much and I've seen her pull stuff off her head.  Besides, she'd rather have her blanket over head instead of her legs.  Whatever makes her happy... and whatever it takes to get her to nap.

The Baby Rests (For Now)

And she finally sleeps. Our bed is about the only place she sleeps the best.  She had a bath, lotion, bed time breathing treatment, a shot of Tylenol, and dinner.  I gave her a breathing treatment since the wind is stirring up all the dust and weeds.  She finally sacked out!  Now, it's about time for me to head to bed, and I'm scared to death to move her!  Jason is on his way home and he told me he'd take the couch again if she's sleeping good.  Bless her heart, she just doesn't feel good.  I have a feeling we may have a long night ahead of us with lots of waking up, and a long road ahead with teething.

Thinking About Googling "Exorcism"

I'm pretty sure the teething demon has entered my sweet daughter and is turning her into a demon baby.  I'm sure with each tooth that pokes through those little gums, a demon will be exorcised from my little sweetie.  She has really turned a corner the last couple days with her little attitude.  She is not happy to play by herself on her activity mat, not happy to be held, not happy in her walker, not happy at all!  She has been sleeping a lot more lately, which is about the only time she and I are both happy.  She loves bath time, and last night she fussed through bath time.  So, I know something is wrong!  She's been slobbering like crazy for a while, but I think now she means business.  I've been giving her teethers and my fingers and she's chomping down!  I really hope she doesn't act this way through the entire teething process.

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Just To Save A Buck Or Two

I've been thinking about different ways to cut costs and save money since I'm not working.  That's not something on Jason's mind since he likes to water the yard every day and asks me how much HD TV channels would cost.  While he's wanting HD, I'm wondering what channels we can rid of to save some cash. 

Diapers and wipes aren't cheap, but fortunately I'm not having to buy formula too.  We are saving a lot of money by me continuing to breast feed Elise, but at the end of this month she will start some foods.  I have been reading online about making your own baby food, and I'm thinking about giving it a try.  I'm only going to make the fruits and some veggies.  I'll buy the meats and anything that wouldn't be easy enough for me to make and freeze.  What I've read says to prepare it and freeze it in ice cube trays.  Then the cubes can be stored in ziploc bags.  I thought it might be a way to save money, and since I'm home all day I will have the time to do it.

I also found some online coupon websites and plan on getting the Sunday paper to clip coupons from there too.  I make a weekly menu of dinners and lunches, and then buy only the things on my list.  We try very hard not to deviate from what's on the list, but once in while we'll splurge on some cookies or ice cream.  We have cut back on eating out or going out.  Since there isn't extra cash laying around, we've resulted to having to find other ways to entertain ourselves.

If anyone has any other suggestions, I'm open.  However, I don't want to go Amish and I'm not doing cloth diapers!

Dear Elise,

Momma realizes that you are starting to readjust your waking schedule, but we need to come to a compromise.  I loved the winter mornings when you slept until 10am.  When we both woke up together.  When I rolled over and peeked over the pillow in between us to see your little toothless smile.  I also loved when every once in while you would sleep until 10:15 or 10:30 and give me a chance to have my morning cereal and milk before scooping you out of bed.  Then a couple weeks ago you starting getting me up around 9am.  I thought "eh, no biggie, I'll take 9 over 7am any day!"  So, 9am it was... we had to get up and start watching Regis & Kelly.  Momma adapted.  Then a while after that you decided that 7:30 or 8am was a more appropriate time to be up and playing.  Momma is still trying to adapt to that, but we're making it.  I stay awake and play in bed with you for about an hour, and then you repay me by going back to sleep for about 45 minutes to an hour... which is takes me about 20-30 minutes just to fall back asleep.  So, that very small window of opportunity is just a tease and leaves me longing for one more hour!  But then this morning, at 4:30 I am awakened to the playful sounds of your "ooohhhh"  "eeehhhh" and "aahhh."  This is where I draw the line!!  I refuse to get up and play with you at 4:30am!  Being up at that hour is unnatural as it is, but being awake and wanting to play is ludicrous!  Do you remember last night around 11:15 when Momma woke you up to feed you before she went to sleep?  And do you remember how very angry and upset you were to have your peaceful slumber interrupted?  Well, that's kind of how your Mommy feels at 4:30am.  So, I hope you and I can reach an understanding about getting up in the mornings.  How about this?  If I don't wake you up past 9:30pm and you don't wake me up before 8am?

Love,

Mommy

First Easter

Jason, Elise, and I went to Nana & Grandpa's yesterday.  Since the Easter bunny in Canyon is going through the recession still, the one in Pampa was generous enough to leave Elise a new walker!  She loves it!  She loves to be able to sit up and look around.  The toys keep her entertained too.  She was dressed up in a pretty pink dress.  We played outside and took a walk sine the weather was nice.  Next Easter we'll be hunting eggs!

On another note, I have been working on getting Elise on a schedule with naps, feedings, bed time, etc.  It was hard to have her a schedule in the beginning because all she did was eat and sleep and she did that whenever she wanted to.  I operated around her, but now after keeping things consistent we have finally got on a good schedule.  The best thing about having her on a schedule is nap time.  She tends to fight going to sleep, but now she has come anticipate going down.  I watch the clock and when she's been up for 2 hours in the morning, we start to wind things down, no playing, I'll hold for a few minutes while she settles down.  Then I lay her in our bed, give her the paci, and sometimes she turns right over and closes her eyes.  Other times she'll fuss, but I will lay with her and Shhh her and she'll go right to sleep.  I try to get her take a good nap in the morning and one in the afternoon.  At 8 o'clock every night she gets a bath, lotion, and jammies.  Then she eats and goes to bed.

A schedule is my best friend, but it took some time to get her on one.  I'm hoping we can get her night time sleeping on some type of schedule too.  She wakes up in the middle of the night at random times and has recently started waking up earlier in the mornings.  She has become so aware of her environment and all the new things, that she can't wait to wake up and play.  She hates to sleep because she's fearful she will miss something!