A Lesson About Marriage

I read somewhere:

"As soon as you realize that everything in your life changes after having a baby, and nothing in his life does, the better off your marriage."

It's unfortunate that statement is so true.  Of course my husband adores his daughter, but he has not had to make any adjustments to his daily life.  He still comes and goes in and out of the house just like he did before, still plans and volunteers to go on out of town trips, and doesn't think twice about any of it.  If I am going to get my hair cut, plan something with friends, or go somewhere, I have to think about:  Can Elise come?  Will this be feasible to do with a baby in tow?  Will that time interfere with her nap or feeding time?  I guess it's safe to say that I feel somewhat jealous that I don't get waltz in and out the door without any regard to anyone else like I used to.  But I also think that I wouldn't feel that way if I could get my husband to understand and have some compassion for the fact that EVERYTHING I do revolves around Elise.  I feel very certain that even if I had a full time job, working 40 hours a week I would pick her up from daycare, come home to an empty house quite often, prepare a meal, do laundry, etc. while Jason is coming and going, doing whatever it is he would like to when he would like to do it.  He does not want anything interfering with his schedule, and his schedule is so erratic working at the fire department.  Some days he is gone all day and all night.  Like last night, I didn't hear from him until 7:30pm when he called to tell me he was on a structure fire.  He eventually came home at 10:30pm, but he was out until 1:30am the night before.  Lucky for him, he knows that I am here, do not have a job to be accountable to, and Elise will always be taken care of no matter what the time of day is.  I know many would say "quit your complaining because you get to stay at home with your baby."  Well, if I wasn't a stay at home mom the situation would still be the same.  It can be very tiring to be alone with a baby all day and all night with the only breaks coming when Elise is napping.  It would be even more exhausting working all day, taking care of Elise all night, and Jason is VOLUNTEERING (that means not getting paid and not being forced) to spend more and more time outside of the house.  He keeps thinking that he wants another baby in the future, but there's no way I can handle 2 without having someone home more often.  It would be nice to feel like I'm not being taken for granted and that my time is important to me just like his time is important to him.  I'll start talking in circles if I keep up my rambling.  Before I end though, I want to make it very clear that I appreciate the opportunity to stay home with my daughter and wouldn't trade it for anything, but I also need someone on my team to understand that just because I don't have a job to report to doesn't mean it's my responsibility to put all my plans on the back burner while Jason is living the carefree live he had before.  The End.