I wanted to take our picture with me and Jason wearing *festive* Christmas sweaters. I went up to Kohl's to see what I could find. Obviously they didn't have anything trashy enough in the men's department for Jason, so I thought I'd check the Women's Plus Size department. I found a few prospects. There were 2 really great ones and they came in red and blue. I thought I would be kind to Jason and get him the blue one. I called him to confirm his size.
"Hey, I'm at Kohl's and I found you a Christmas sweater, but I found it in the women's plus size department. Will a 3x work for you?"
::hesitation:: "suuuure."
I wanted to get the matching red one for myself, but there wasn't one that would be remotely close to fitting me. While I was digging through the rack looking at the sizes, an old lady actually put one on and she modeled for her husband.
"That's really pretty on you."
I laughed on the inside and thought to myself... I wonder if Jason says that kind of crap to me when I look like a fool?? Surely not.
I went to the women's section in hopes of finding something equally hideous for myself. The sweaters there looked relatively normal, you know, they just had snowflakes on them and were pretty decent colors. Then I found a bunch of turtlenecks. No one wears turtlenecks anymore so I thought I was on to something. I found one that was red with snowmen on it. It would have to do.
I proceeded to make my purchases and head home. I called a friend to see if she would be able to come by and snap a few photos so I could get started on my Christmas cards. She agreed, and my plan was coming together perfectly.
Jason came home from work and took his work pants off and sat down in his chair. I'm pretty sure when he reads this he's going to take me off his life insurance policy. I busted out his sweater and showed it to him. He was HORRIFIED. He told me there wasn't a snowflake's chance in hell that he was wearing that. Maybe not in those exact words. I'm just paraphrasing. I sat on top of him in his chair so he couldn't get up and forced the sweater on him. I got his arms in and zipped it up. It was QUITE a sight to behold. My hunky fireman husband sitting in his chair in his boxers and horrific holiday sweater.
I showed him the shirt I got. This is the conversation that followed.
"Your's isn't even that bad!"
"This is all I could find! I was going to get the sweater like your's in red but they didn't have my size."
"You're trying to make me look a queer!!!"
"No I'm not! It's just for fun! Shalee and Jarrett are coming over after while to take our picture."
I thought I had him convinced that this was going to be a funny joke when we sent our Christmas cards. I was wrong.
We had the pictures taken and I designed the cards online at Wal-Mart. I showed them to him before I ordered them. He just shook his head, but he didn't comment so I assumed it was ok to move forward.
I picked up the cards at Wal-Mart and sat down to address them. After I got ONE addressed he finally decided to tell me what he thought.
"I can't believe you are going to send those out! I'm the only one that looks stupid."
"My shirt looks stupid too. It was all I could find. People are obviously going to look at BOTH of us and realize it's just a joke. It's not just you. It's the picture as a whole. Just tell everyone you were held a gunpoint and forced to wear it."
"I look like a homo and you're making me the butt of the joke."
At that point I had enough. He obviously was not going to find the humor in this so I took all (but one) of the cards and threw them in the garbage and told him to quit whining! I took the card that I saved and put it in Elise's baby book. I threatened to put the pictures on Facebook and he threatened to divorce me.
So for your viewing pleasure, our 2010 Family Christmas Photo!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, I left the tags on and took them back to Kohl's and got my $40 back. Luckily Jason's sweater was on sale. The regular price was $52.
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