Is There An Easy Button For That?

How in the world did I ever survive living alone?

Today I went to Discount Tire for my routine tire rotation and balance when the dude started telling me about how much tread is on my tires, that the tires are possibly being recalled, they've been known to fall apart, blah blah blah.... so of course my response is this...

"Hang on a second."

Get the cell phone out, call Jason

"Hey, I'm at the tire store and you need to talk to the tire guy."

They spoke and reached an agreement about the tires.  Now, had Jason not been accessible I would have just called my Dad.  But, then I started thinking... how come they don't teach you this crap in school?

How to purchase tires?
How to buy a house?
How to buy a vehicle?
How to do taxes, 401K's, retirement accounts, stocks?
How to kill a wolf spider when you're home alone?

I'm not kidding about the last one.  Jason was gone one Saturday morning when I saw this monster wolf spider.  You don't know what that is?  Now you do...

Freaking disgusting, right?  Anyway, one of those bad boys was hightailing it across my living room so I went into panic mode.  I cannot pick them up with a paper towel and flush them because I might feel them in the paper towel and DIE, and then Elise and my dogs would be motherless.  So, I put on Jason's shoes

 

And decide I will just step on it and leave the shoe on it until Jason gets home.  Problem solved.  I step on the vile creature, slip my foot out of the shoe, and go on about my business.  Twenty seconds later the freaking thing is crawling out from under the shoe.  Panic ensues.  I put the shoes back on, grab my cell phone, step on it, and call Jason.

"Are you almost home?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because I'm standing in the living room with your shoes on with a wolf spider underneath because the little bastard won't die!!!!!!!!!"

Five minutes later he comes home to find me standing on top of the spider, leaning on the entertainment center, and watching TV.

What in the world did I do before I had Jason?  Well, for one thing, I never dealt with Wolf spiders, and any other insect I usually just sprayed with hairspray until it reached its agonizing death and could be vacuumed up or picked up with a roll of paper towels.

As for the tire situation, I am in no position to be making decisions regarding tire purchases because I know nothing.  This also applies to changing flat tires.

I noticed I had a completely flat tire one day when I was leaving the mall (of all places).  This was before Jason's time, so I called my dad and told him the situation.  He asked me what I wanted him to do about it since he was an hour and a half away.  Well, I didn't know what I supposed to do about it, it's not like I was required to know how to do that prior to graduating high school.

His response "call OnStar."

I call OnStar and explain to them that I am sitting in my vehicle in the mall parking lot and need someone to come change my flat tire.  Forty minutes later I was on my way again.  OnStar is like the EASY Button.  If only I could have one of those for all the other situations in my life that can NEVER just be simple.