Fashionista

What have I become?

I took Elise to the mall yesterday.  We went to the shoe department in Dillards and then promptly to The Children's Place.  They had some $5.99 sales going on, so I took her in to see if there was anything she needed.  I saw a couple of shirts that had potential, but didn't want to make any quick decisions until we went to Gymboree.

I sped past The Buckle (my former must-go-in-store) because that's a thing of the past now, and straight into Gymboree.  More sales.  Unfortunately, I couldn't hardly think because the air conditioner was broken and I had a headache.  Plus, this old lady was in there trying to buy coordinating outfits for a 4 year old and a baby.  She was blocking the entire section I needed to get in.  She was just standing there in this glazed eye stupor until the little girl that worked there came to see if she needed any help.  Meanwhile, I'm sweating my ass off, my head is throbbing, and Elise is grabbing anything in her reach off the racks.

I had a couple of things I was considering buying, but then remembered I had some Gymboree Bucks coming in my UPS box that should have been here already.  So, I had the worker hold the stuff I wanted to buy because I certainly wasn't going to spend money when I could use the Gymboree Bucks.

"Are these on sale?"

"I'm not sure, but I think so."

"Can you hold these until tomorrow?"

"Sure"

"When are you getting the new lines in?"

"Tuesday"

This is were I had to question what I just said.  I was worried about when Gymboree was getting their new lines in, because heaven forbid my child wear last season's clothes????  I don't even ask the people at Express or The Buckle when they are getting in new lines FOR ME!

So, here I sit today waiting and waiting on the UPS dude to bring me my box with my Gymboree Bucks so that I can go get those Lilac Leggings and maybe that coat if they still have it.

I mean, Elise (and I) hardly ever go anywhere, but by God she will be wearing this season's Gymboree sweaters and pants!

And I will still be wearing sweaters and sweat shirts from 3 years ago.  Maybe you're only as fashionable as your child.

Bandana Babee

I was just waiting for her to say, in her most serious, sweetest voice...

"Yo, Mom-mee!  Hows about you put me the stroller and we go cut some doughnuts and pop some wheelies?!"

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Remember when I told you about the antics Jason and I play on each other?  The one about throwing cold water on top of each other while the other is showering?  Well, if you can't, sorry because I can't find the post to link you back to it so you're on your own.

Well, one of my favorite blogs to follow, The Pioneer Woman, gave me a new idea for playing a trick on my husband.  It involves this...

I realize this snake looks very fake.  I picked it up at Wal-Mart yesterday.  I figured with the proper placement it could really scare the daylights out of my poor unsuspecting hubby.  He hates snakes with a fiery passion of undying flames.

So, I left the snake in the truck and waited for Jason to go out back and start up the grill.  Then, I swiftly brought it inside and went to work on my master plan.

I would strategically place the snake in the shower so that Jason would turn on the water, piddle around a bit while it warms up, and then hop on in.  He would then become so scared when he saw the snake that he would hop around, fall, scream, grab the shower curtain, have a heart attack, and everything would come toppling down on top of him.  All while I laugh uncontrollably and pee my pants from the hysteria.

It could really scare a person if they just saw it out of the corner of their eye while standing under the water.

So, I waited all night for him to go take a shower... all the while, laughing on the inside at my ingenuity.  Then, the time came.  He announced he was going to the shower and I almost couldn't control myself any longer.  As soon as he walked off I grabbed the camera and got it ready to go because I was most definitely not going to miss an opportunity to catch Jason screaming like a little girl.

I held my breath to keep from laughing and stood outside the bathroom door...

(The video is very dark, but I was only hoping to get an audio.  Just wait for the end of it)



My plan FAILED!  He wasn't scared at all.  The only person that got scared was me after that bathroom door flew open and I took off running.  He told me to sleep with one eye open because he would get me back.  So, I contemplated putting the snake in one of his drawers to try to scare him again, but decided against it.  Now I have that fake rubber snake hiding in my lingerie drawer...  that is until he reads this.  There is no way I'm letting him use my own trick against me!

I Am SuperMOM

It has occurred to me why God chose women to be moms.

The moment Elise was born, I inherited these extra super powers.  I didn't know that at the time, though.  I didn't know that when I was in the hospital alone with her while Jason went home for a while... I was just kind of like "now what?"

But over the last 10 months it has become much more evident to me that I am awesome.  I rock.  The end.

You know the cat-like reflexes that moms have?  The ability to save the sippy cup from being thrown across the kitchen floor?  The numerous fall preventions and saves?  The super fast maneuver of the paci into the mouth of a sleeping baby starting to stir?  I don't think my husband has any experience with those things.

Since having Elise I have become overly prepared for any situation we may encounter while away from home.  I have my diaper bag packed with everything but the kitchen sink.  I may need back surgery in the future from carrying it on one shoulder and a baby on the opposite hip, thus contorting my spine into that of a Scoliosis patient, buuuuuut.... a spare outfit?  No problem.  A bib and spoon? Got it.  Q-Tips and those cloths that have soap in them and you just add water?  I have plenty.  Tylenol and Desitin? Yep.  You get the point.

Another invaluable skill?  I have the ability to hear sounds that are not usually detected by the average human ear.  I could ask Jason "huh?" three times because I have no idea what he's saying (could be from his mumbling), but I can be sitting on the couch while Jason watches football loud enough to think you are actually in the stadium.  Elise can be asleep in her room with the door closed and the baby monitor turned off, and I'll be able to hear her quiet little cries and noises when she starts to wake up.

While I knew I was pretty awesome for having these super duper talents, it didn't really occur to me until the other day while Jason and I were at Chic-fil-A.  I had nursed Elise prior to going there.  We got our food and settled her in a high chair.  As you know, she likes to cause major drama when I get ready to eat.  But, being the super mom that I am, I was able to whip her up a completely well balanced meal within minutes.  We'll say it was a "Picnic in a Purse" even though it was my diaper bag.  Before we left the house I tossed her sippy cup with juice, a banana, a little plastic cup of cereal, and some pre-packaged baby food into my bag.  Typically, I make all of Elise's food, but threw the Gerber squash into my bag just in case.  While we were eating, I was able to get her a meal made with squash (veggie), banana (fruit), and cereal (grain) with juice to go with it.  Go Momma!

The day after I was thinking to myself... it's just an instinct now to make sure I am prepared for anything before walking out the door.  I don't even think twice about it.

And God knew that men couldn't possibly have the mental capacity to think about all of those things.  My husband can't even remember to lock our back door every day.

My Current Obsession

I am in party planning mode.  That is, a 1 year old's birthday party.  Elise won't be 1 until October 26 and I realize it's only September 3.  There isn't much cause for frantic planning, but I made the small and intimate guest list last month, I have already designed the invitations and plan to order them in the next couple of weeks so I can get them mailed out by the end of this month.  I have done some online research about what kind of cake I want to get her and obviously will be hitting up the party supply store to see what kind of decorations are in order.

While I realize that Elise won't remember her first birthday party, she will have plenty of pictures to look at when she's older.  In addition to celebrating the fact that we managed to keep Elise alive and healthy for 365 days and all of the milestones she's accomplished within that time, we are also celebrating the fact that Jason and I survived our first year of parenthood and sleepless nights without killing ourselves, each other, the dogs, or any other innocent by stander.

We had initially thought about having a BBQ and having burgers and hot dogs with cake to follow.  But, then changed our mind because we weren't certain of what the weather would be doing.  Now the plan is to have some snacky, finger foods and then cake and ice cream.

If anyone has any suggestions for me I'd love to hear them!  I am not a party planner and definitely not a child's party planner!

All I Can Say Is...

It's a good thing my child sleeps in the dark.  These jammies are a tad bit over-stimulating.  On some occasions Jason asks me "what the hell is she wearing?!?!"  Since I always make her wardrobe decisions for her.  Tonight's ensemble brought that exact reaction.  These are her new jammies I ordered from the Children's Place.  They were on sale and I needed some footed sleepers in 12 mo. sizes because she's getting too long for her current sleepwear... as you saw when she proceeded to remove them from her body.  Although these jams are a little over the top, I happen to adore them.

Backyard Update

So here's the good, the bad, and the ugly on our backyard project.  Needless to say, it's better (I use the term loosely), but there are still some issues.

First of all, this is what we've got...

 

As you see there is some green stuff and some bare ground.  There is grass, but there's a lot of clover out there now that we didn't have before.  According to the landscaper dude that did the work, that's pretty standard, and the clover will eventually go away once the grass takes over.  But, here's the problem...

When we had that big rain, it washed away some of our grass in the low spots of the yard.  Leaving it looking less than desirable.  The landscaper dude said he would come back and re-spray these spots that got washed away.  Well, that hasn't happened yet.

The other evening, Jason noticed some landscapers had just finished laying down an entire yard of sod in a new housing addition.  He stopped and asked them what they planned on doing with the leftover scraps.  They told him he could have them.  So, he laid the scraps down along the house and patio where the seed had been washed away.

The best grass growth we have is under our big tree.  Now, to just get the rest of the yard in that same condition.

But there is some good news....

Our next door neighbor agreed to pay to replace our craptastic fence if Jason would do the labor and put it up.

Stay tuned for following updates.  I'll try not to be such a slacker like I have been.