Why I Need To Be Pregnant

and it's not what you think so calm down!

See, something happened to me when I became pregnant with Elise.  This internal concoction of hormones overtook everything in my being.  Nothing else in the world was important to me besides growing a tiny human in my belly.  Laundry? Eh.  Dishes? *sigh* Dishes, smishes.  Jason: "I'm going out of town for a couple of days." Me: *sigh* "See you next week.."

All I had to be concerned with was rubbing Cocoa Butter on my belly, what I was going to eat next, and making sure I was tucked in bed at 8pm.  Unlike many women who find themselves expecting, I didn't have the typical mood swings.  Lucky for Jason I just hit a plateau of sunshine, rainbows, and puppies.  I was pretty much even keeled for 9 months.  That's not to say I didn't have a moment or two where I transformed into a psychotic biotch because I was certain I was starving to death and hadn't put anything into my stomach for a whole 40 minutes.

Like this one time (at band camp... sorry I couldn't resist) that I had to work until 6 O'clock and Jason got off at 5pm.  I warned him that I was hungry and it would be nice if he could be thinking about eating when I got home from work.  He informed me he was going to mow the yard but would be done before I got home and we could indeed eat.  You can imagine the psychosis that ensued when I pulled into the driveway to find he was just getting started.  I waddled inside, changed out of my sweat drench clothes and then headed back outside.  I then proceeded to scream from the driveway that I was going to Taco Bell because I was freaking starving and not waiting for him to finish mowing the freaking yard!  As I was carrying on I asked him if he wanted something and all I managed to get from him was a "yes." Well, he'll get what I order him... I don't have the time or patience for him to indecisively rattle off what HE wants.  I then proceeded up to the TB drive through where I ordered a number one, an extra taco, a mexi melt, a double decker,with a Dr. Pepper and whatever Jason ended up with.  Once I had a taco in me I was immediately back to my la la land of rainbows and unicorns.  Anyway, I digress.

What I wouldn't give now for that cocktail of hormones so that I could be carefree and whimsical again....