I'm Clearly a Rookie

It has been made very clear to me that I am no pro at shopping with a baby in tow. Picture this if you will. Elise and I head up to Amarillo last night to run a couple of Christmas errands. The first stop: Kohl's. Now, typically I park far enough away that I can get my driver's side door open and then the door that opens up from the inside to be able to maneuver the car seat out. Well, considering this insane time of year, parking far enough away to do that would be in another zip code. So, I say to myself and my little girl... to heck with it. We're parking by the front door. Mind you it is dark and this time last year a lady was kidnapped in the Kohl's parking lot. So to me, the closer to the door the safer we are.

So, I park and methodically lay out my plan of attack. I am actually able to un-click the car seat and move it from the back seat to the front console in one or two swift maneuvers while sitting in my seat. I then proceed to exit the vehicle and lug the car seat and diaper bag (that contains everything but the kitchen seat) all out the driver's side door without dinging the car next to me. One point for Mommy!

I head into the store only to find no buggys that I can set the car seat in it. Only a dinky basket on wheels. One point for Kohl's. So, I am making my way through the idiots who are completely oblivious to the fact that I am hauling around a baby and 75 lb. diaper bag... that means move people! Well, I get over to the kids clothes and make my selections. Well, I can't obviously put my unpaid merchandise in my diaper bag because a) it's freakin full and b) they will accuse me of shoplifting and a trip to the pokey isn't on my to-do list. So, I am now carrying my child in her car seat, my diaper bag, and my merchandise. Two points for Kohl's.

Well, I'm nearing the end of my browsing and wouldn't you know it... My little sweet pea decides she wants to start getting fussy. Ok, put everything down on the floor and dig for a paci... ok, I have ONE. Let's make sure this doesn't fall on the floor. Pacify my child and head for the check-out. Well, I believe in following the rules of driving while shopping. Walk on the right side and pass on the left. Well, I guess in Japan they drive on the left side of the road because I had to weave in and out of displays in the isle with all my crap while a couple had an entire conversation in Japanese while pushing their empty cart without any regard to the poor girl toting an infant, bag, clothes, and a cell phone up to her ear. You can only imagine my frustration at that point. Another point for Kohl's.

So, I get checked out and head out to the vehicle... now what am I gonna do to get all this crap in the truck without opening the extra door? I'm not. I inevitably have to open the driver's door, move over while raising and lowering the car seat to accommodate the extra door and then move back over to put her in. I'm sweating profusely by now. So, I sit in the truck to try to get my bearings. Next up, head over to Old Navy... I look inside and see NO carts so that's not gonna happen. Head over to Target. The parking lot is almost filled up to the road. Not happening either. Next stop... Chic-fil-a and we are going home!

Needless to say Kohl's won and that shopping trip was a big FAIL!